{"id":413,"date":"2012-04-28T18:09:08","date_gmt":"2012-04-28T18:09:08","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/obviousintentions.com\/BLOG\/?p=413"},"modified":"2014-09-11T01:59:13","modified_gmt":"2014-09-11T01:59:13","slug":"medically-speaking","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/obviousintentions.com\/BLOG\/2012\/04\/28\/medically-speaking\/","title":{"rendered":"Medically Speaking"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"dead<\/a>A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon.\u00a0 As she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird’s chest.\u00a0 After a moment or two, the vet shook his head sadly and said, “I’m so sorry, your Duck Cuddles has passed away.”<\/p>\n

The distressed owner wailed, “Are you sure?”<\/p>\n

“Yes, I am sure.\u00a0 The duck is dead,” he replied.
\n
\n“How can you be so sure,” she protested.\u00a0 “I mean, you haven’t done any testing on him or anything.\u00a0 He might just be in a coma or something.”\u00a0 The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room, and returned a few moments later with a black Labrador retriever.\u00a0 As the duck’s owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the examination table and sniffed the duck from top to bottom.\u00a0 He then looked at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head.\u00a0 The vet patted the dog and took it out, and returned a few moments later with a cat.\u00a0 The cat jumped up on the table and also sniffed delicately at the bird from head to foot.\u00a0 The cat sat back on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly and strolled out of the room.\u00a0 The vet looked at the woman and said, “I’m sorry, but as I said, this is most definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck.”\u00a0 Then the vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced a bill, which he handed to the woman.\u00a0 The duck’s owner, still in shock, took the bill.\u00a0 “$150!” she cried, “$150 just to tell me my duck is dead?!?”<\/p>\n

The vet shrugged. “I’m sorry.\u00a0 If you’d taken my word for it, the bill would have been $20, but with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan, it’s now $150.00.”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon.\u00a0 As she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird’s chest.\u00a0 After a moment or two, the vet shook his head sadly and said, “I’m so sorry, your Duck Cuddles\u2026<\/p>\n

Continue reading<\/i><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"image","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[26,3],"tags":[177,178],"class_list":["post-413","post","type-post","status-publish","format-image","hentry","category-funny","category-silly","tag-dead-duck","tag-duck","post_format-post-format-image"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/obviousintentions.com\/BLOG\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/413","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/obviousintentions.com\/BLOG\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/obviousintentions.com\/BLOG\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/obviousintentions.com\/BLOG\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/obviousintentions.com\/BLOG\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=413"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"http:\/\/obviousintentions.com\/BLOG\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/413\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":416,"href":"http:\/\/obviousintentions.com\/BLOG\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/413\/revisions\/416"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/obviousintentions.com\/BLOG\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=413"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/obviousintentions.com\/BLOG\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=413"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/obviousintentions.com\/BLOG\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=413"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}